Does Your Coach Have Favorites?
- Jason
- Sep 16, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 24
I think about this concept quite a bit during the fall and club season. It comes up in conversations passively sometimes, but it comes up none the less.
I won't try and beat around the bush too much with this topic.
Yes, coaches have their favorites.
Just like you have your favorite coaches.
Potentially your favorite coaches were the ones that treated you like you were their favorite? But there can be lots of reasons that an athlete (in any sport) has a favorite coach. Just like there are lots of potential variables that go into a coach having "favorites".
I think the question we need to ask isn't "If" coach has favorites, but "why?"
Every coach has a different personality. That I think we can all agree on. With that different personality comes a draw to and a pull away from OTHER personality types. Think about your friend group. Even within your group of friends, there are probably even more distinct groups within that larger group. Even you and your BEST friend probably have different personality traits that make you two MORE of a friend than the others in the group. That's just one variable. Coaches can be drawn to certain personality types. Just like you as an athlete can be drawn to certain kinds of coaches or certain kinds of coaching methods. We all have preferences.
Everyone goes through different circumstances in life. Think about your own friend group again. Besides the different personality types within that group, some of you have been through different circumstances together. Maybe you have been through different highs and lows together. Maybe only 1 or 2 of you really know about the situation. Going through those times together usually helps to support, buildup and increase the friendship. The same goes when it comes to coaching. Coaches spend a lot of time with their athletes. When I was coaching high school there were several athletes that were going through some really serious family situations. I heard a lot about it because they trusted me. Did that all have an impact on our relationship? Of course it did. Context is important to any relationship. Instead of guessing as to why this athlete was struggling in practice, there is usually some context there. If you know the context, then it impacts you differently. It was the same way with my college team. Because there was a lot of time being spent with one another, you find out a lot of dirt about each other. Not necessarily BAD things, just STUFF. Everyone seems to be dealing with something. Instead of holding it against an athlete when they performed poorly or had a poor practice or had a bad mood, there was usually a lot of grace shown towards that athlete because we KNEW what was actually going on. Again, everyone to certain levels, extremes and degrees, but you knew none the less. In reality, it makes the team bond stronger I think.
I don't think playing time is always a factor. It certainly can be. Coaches can tend to coach the players that start or play more than other athletes. But I honestly think it's less of a factor then people think. Playing can certainly come into play though, I'm not denying that.
Here is my question with all of this:
Does your playing time affect your effort level?
Does you NOT being a coach's favorite impact what you do in practice?
Does your playing time impact how good of a teammate you are?
There are things in your control and there are things aren't in your control. I don't think necessarily being a coaches favorite is something you have control over. But I know that the type of teammate you are, your effort level and how you practice IS certainly something that you CAN control. Focus on the things that you can control. You might never be best friends with your coach. That's okay. You can be the best teammate and give your BEST in every aspect of the team.
Commentaires